When the Struggle is Too Real
Hi there! Thanks for joining us again here at Parenting on Pennies. We appreciate you dropping by, especially for our big announcement: We're officially homeowners! This means we are now in Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6. For those of you scratching your heads as to what the baby steps even are, please visit this post.
So, how has life changed for us since our big purchase? Well, I can't speak for Mr. Pennies but it has sent me into a tail spin. A major one. Many times, big life events - whether good or bad - can do this to all of us. When I was pregnant with The JuJuBe, it was exciting and happy, but I also had a lot of inner turmoil. This was it. I was becoming a parent. I was officially responsible for someone who needed me every single second to survive. That's a lot to weigh on one's mind. The purchase of our sweet little home hasn't been quite so overwhelming, but it's been a lot
When we're internally (or externally) stressed by major life events, we tend to react differently. For me, stress eating terrible food is a big, big reliever, but you know who doesn't benefit from this behavior? My cardiovascular system and my wallet! I know others who are also stress eaters. Why do we do these things? It's a way to cope with loss of control.
In fact, at one point I was careening towards the edge of sanity while Mr. Pennies and I shopped at a home improvement store. So how was I trying to cope with my loss of control over all the things that inevitably have to be purchased when you buy a home? I was trying to either put off the purchases or cancel them altogether. Ridiculous! Mr. Pennies was struggling with these feelings as well. We left the store not making all of the purchases we had planned. So, what are some ways to tackle all these feelings? (And by the way, we're science-y people. We don't mix too well with feelings.) Here's some suggestions:
1. Eat healthy
Meal plan, leave your debit cards or cash at home, and tell yourself "no" when you're trying to buy junk food. This has been my main struggle, and my wallet and waistline can't always hear the voice of reason screaming in my brain. It's gotten better, though. Planning out meals and even factoring in "binge" food for me to have at home has helped!
2. Exercise
Getting out and moving has tremendous benefits when you feel out of control. At the new house, we have a terrific quarter mile circle that we actually live on! This has been a wonderful tool for us to use when I need a break and when The JuJuBe needs a stroll.
3. Make a list of good things coming from these changes
Any time a major positive life change occurs (new baby, getting married, buying a house), stress is a part of the equation. There are endless great experiences that will come from these changes. I sat down recently and wrote all the reasons we wanted to buy a house. It's not a small list. And I get it - home ownership is a lifetime of projects - some more annoying than others. We're actually getting a couple of huge projects out of the way before we move in along with some other smaller ones. It is a lot of money. It is time and dedication, but it's also a cozy home in a sweet little neighborhood where our girl can grow up.
4. Vent
We all have friends we turn to when we need to unload. Venting is a great way to vocalize some of your frustrations and even some of your fears to the people you trust. My word of caution here (and I always struggle here): don't let your venting turn into complaining. We worked hard for a long time and saved for years to be able to buy our first home. Our patience and hard work have paid off. This home is a blessing and yes there is so much work to do, but we're building up equity and the amount we pay off on our mortgage counts (to us) as money invested.
5. Don't beat yourself up
It's okay to feel overwhelmed and out of control. Just make sure you don't dwell in the land of "out of control". Calm down. Revisit the original plan. Don't panic and try to stay positive.
Thank you again for stopping by! Next post will be some money saving tips we've used with The JuJuBe! Until next time!
So, how has life changed for us since our big purchase? Well, I can't speak for Mr. Pennies but it has sent me into a tail spin. A major one. Many times, big life events - whether good or bad - can do this to all of us. When I was pregnant with The JuJuBe, it was exciting and happy, but I also had a lot of inner turmoil. This was it. I was becoming a parent. I was officially responsible for someone who needed me every single second to survive. That's a lot to weigh on one's mind. The purchase of our sweet little home hasn't been quite so overwhelming, but it's been a lot
When we're internally (or externally) stressed by major life events, we tend to react differently. For me, stress eating terrible food is a big, big reliever, but you know who doesn't benefit from this behavior? My cardiovascular system and my wallet! I know others who are also stress eaters. Why do we do these things? It's a way to cope with loss of control.
In fact, at one point I was careening towards the edge of sanity while Mr. Pennies and I shopped at a home improvement store. So how was I trying to cope with my loss of control over all the things that inevitably have to be purchased when you buy a home? I was trying to either put off the purchases or cancel them altogether. Ridiculous! Mr. Pennies was struggling with these feelings as well. We left the store not making all of the purchases we had planned. So, what are some ways to tackle all these feelings? (And by the way, we're science-y people. We don't mix too well with feelings.) Here's some suggestions:
1. Eat healthy
Meal plan, leave your debit cards or cash at home, and tell yourself "no" when you're trying to buy junk food. This has been my main struggle, and my wallet and waistline can't always hear the voice of reason screaming in my brain. It's gotten better, though. Planning out meals and even factoring in "binge" food for me to have at home has helped!
2. Exercise
Getting out and moving has tremendous benefits when you feel out of control. At the new house, we have a terrific quarter mile circle that we actually live on! This has been a wonderful tool for us to use when I need a break and when The JuJuBe needs a stroll.
3. Make a list of good things coming from these changes
Any time a major positive life change occurs (new baby, getting married, buying a house), stress is a part of the equation. There are endless great experiences that will come from these changes. I sat down recently and wrote all the reasons we wanted to buy a house. It's not a small list. And I get it - home ownership is a lifetime of projects - some more annoying than others. We're actually getting a couple of huge projects out of the way before we move in along with some other smaller ones. It is a lot of money. It is time and dedication, but it's also a cozy home in a sweet little neighborhood where our girl can grow up.
4. Vent
We all have friends we turn to when we need to unload. Venting is a great way to vocalize some of your frustrations and even some of your fears to the people you trust. My word of caution here (and I always struggle here): don't let your venting turn into complaining. We worked hard for a long time and saved for years to be able to buy our first home. Our patience and hard work have paid off. This home is a blessing and yes there is so much work to do, but we're building up equity and the amount we pay off on our mortgage counts (to us) as money invested.
5. Don't beat yourself up
It's okay to feel overwhelmed and out of control. Just make sure you don't dwell in the land of "out of control". Calm down. Revisit the original plan. Don't panic and try to stay positive.
Thank you again for stopping by! Next post will be some money saving tips we've used with The JuJuBe! Until next time!
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